Nearer, Still Nearer

"Draw nigh unto God, and he will draw nigh to you..." {James 4:8}

 

I recently came across a book on my shelf that I'd forgotten that I had -- A Woman's Call to Prayer: Making Your Desire to Pray a Reality, by Elizabeth George (author of A Woman After God's Own Heart).  It had a $3.99 price sticker on the cover from a Bible outlet store that no longer exists, which indicated that it had been years since I purchased it.  I had "dog-earred" a stopping place somewhere in the second chapter and never picked it up again.  I admit that I have a bit of A.D.D. when it comes to books sometimes.  There are so many I want to read that I'll often start one while still in the middle of another, never to finish the one left behind.  When I finally do rediscover that forgotten book, however, it's exactly what I need at that particular time.

 

The Lord had put a desire in my heart to further study what the Bible says about prayer.  I had become somewhat distracted in my prayer life.  I would read my Bible, begin to pray, and inevitably, get distracted by a noise outside or thoughts of what I needed to get done that day.  Then, I'd snap out of it, say a quick, "Lord bless (insert name here)..." or "Thank you for (fill in the blank)...Amen."  For this reason, among others, I like to keep a prayer journal.  It helps me to focus on things that I need to pray for, but it also increases my faith to look back over the pages and see answered prayers.  I was not at all surprised that this old/new book of mine suggested keeping a journal.  It just so happened that I had a brand new one my husband had given me for Christmas that I hadn't yet started.  I'm making a very nerdy confession when I tell you that a fresh, clean journal is exciting to me.  I can forget about past burdens and start anew.  It's a beautiful thing!

 

As I began this new journal, I not only wrote down my prayers, but any thoughts from the book that I wanted to remember as well as scriptures pertaining to prayer.  As I copied down the precious words of God, I was convicted of my unbelief.  Oh, I believe God is who He says He is and that He is the only way...but do I live out His promises as if they apply to me personally?

 

"Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us..." {Ephesians 3:20}

 

**"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." {Matthew 21:22}

 

"He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?" {Romans 8:32}

 

I believe God's word.  I believe those things.  The one I had the most trouble with was...

 

"Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." {Psalm 127:3}

 

This month marks 3 years since my husband and I began earnestly seeking the Lord in this area of our lives.  Although we always desired children, we always said, "We'll wait 3-5 years (after we get married) and then we'll start having kids...".  Well, we've now been married for 6 and we're still a family of 2.  We didn't expect that when we decided to "trust God" in this area, that we would have to wait as long as we have.  It has been a true test that, I believe, has strengthened our faith and our marriage.  Although we still do not have children, we are seeing Romans 8:28 made real in our lives.  I am humbled by my husband's trust in the Lord.  His heart encourages mine when my emotions take over.

 

In the last 3 years, the Lord has done some remarkable things in us and for us!  He led us to the best church in the world, where we are continually fed the truth and experience more liberty than anywhere we've ever been.  Every couple of months...sometimes every couple of weeks, there is a baby announcement, and we rejoice with our friends who are training up children in the way they should go {Proverbs 22:6}.

 

I admit that when I have gone to the grocery store and seen a mother being hateful to her children or have heard an expectant mother who constantly complains, I have often questioned the Lord.  I'll read Psalm 127:3 and think to myself, "Yeah, right...".  I've often thought, "Lord...I wouldn't complain! I'd be the happiest woman on earth!".  I had no idea how prideful I was.

 

The Bible has a lot to say about pride. 

 

"The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaketh proud things..." {Psalm 12:3}

 

"Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer." {Psalm 101:5}

 

"Though the LORD be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly: but the proud he knoweth afar off." {Psalm 138:6}

 

"Everyone that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord: though hand join in had, he shall not be unpunished." {Proverbs 16:5}

 

"Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit." {Ecclesiastes 7:8}

 

"But he giveth more grace.  Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." {James 4:6}

 

Reading these verses and the many others dealing with this topic, I learned that my own pride had been hindering my prayer life.  Through my tears, I wrote a prayer of repentance to the Lord.  I was heartbroken to realize that by having those proud thoughts, I was calling God a liar and I was telling Him that I knew what was best for my life. 

 

The Lord is so faithful, even when I am not.  I can't even love and trust Him like I should in my own strength.  Jesus said, **"I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing." {John 15:5}.  But I thank God that He also said, **"...My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness..." {2 Corinthians 12:9}.

 

The next morning, during my devotion, I read another chapter in my book, which lead me to the following scriptures:

 

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." {2 Chronicles 7:14}

 

"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." {Psalm 139:23-24}

 

"The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." {Psalm 34:18}

 

That last verse brought the hymn "Nearer, Still Nearer" to my mind.  After I copied it down in my journal, I ran and got my hymn book and began to copy the lyrics down as well.  About half way through, I realized, "This is a prayer!".  So, at the bottom of the page, underneath the lyrics, I wrote, "This is my prayer today, Lord!  Thank you for your Word!  Your promises are TRUE!  I love you, Lord Jesus!  Amen."

 

Later that evening, my husband and I headed to church for the Wednesday night service.  Usually, Wednesday night church consists of prayer requests and Bible study.  We don't typically have a song service on Wednesday nights unless our pastor feels led to do so.  I am thankful that our pastor is sensitive to the Holy Spirit and can sense when certain things need more attention.  This particular Wednesday night, he  called our missionary of music up to lead us in "Jesus Paid It All".  After we finished singing, our pastor stepped forward, hymn book in hand, and suggested we continue with "Nearer, Still Nearer," as if it were an invitation, exhorting us to come to the altar or bow in our seat and bring our burdens to the Lord or just thank God for being so good to us.  His exact words were, "Make this your prayer!"

 

You could've knocked me over with a feather!  I wanted to shout, "I already have!".  I sat in my seat, bowed my head and cried.  In that moment, I knew the Lord had heard my deepest prayers.  I thanked my Saviour for reaching down and wrapping His loving arms around me...personally. 

 

That was one week ago.  Since then, I've experienced some sweet moments of communion with Him and He continues to encourage me and make His presence known in my daily life.  As painful as it was to recognize my sin, my precious Lord forgave me and poured out His love for me "exceeding abundantly above" all that I could ask or think.

 

 

"Nearer, Still Nearer"

 

Nearer, still nearer - close to Thy heart

Draw me, my Saviour, so precious Thou art

Fold me, O fold me close to Thy breast

Shelter me safe in that "Haven of Rest"

Shelter me safe in that "Haven of Rest"

 

Nearer, still nearer - Nothing I bring

Nought as an off'ring to Jesus my King

Only my sinful, now contrite heart

Grant me the cleansing Thy blood doth impart

Grand me the cleansing Thy blood doth impart

 

Nearer, still nearer - Lord to be Thine

Sin with its follies I gladly resign

All of its pleasures, pomp and its pride

Give me but Jesus, my Lord crucified

Give me but Jesus, my Lord crucified

 

Nearer, still nearer - while life shall last

Till safe in glory my anchor is cast

Thru endless ages, ever to be

Nearer, my Saviour, still nearer to Thee

Nearer, my Saviour, still nearer to Thee

 

 

Note: The words of Jesus Christ are marked with a **.  



I Will Praise Him! (part 1)

"I WILL praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works.  I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High...And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee." {Psalm 9: 1, 2, 10}

Often when I need encouragement or I'm not sure what to pray, I'll flip through the book of Psalms.  David can always say it better than I can, anyway.  He is called "a man after God's own heart," after all.  I believe one of the reasons for this is because he was so real before the Lord.  If he was angry, sad, hurt, or confused, he wasn't afraid to say, "Why standest thou afar off, O LORD?  why hidest thou thyself in times of trouble?" (Psalm 10:1).  Reading through them, however, I found that even in times of trouble, his prayers still stemmed from a longing to draw closer to the Lord and feel His presence.  "As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.  My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before my God?" (Psalm 42: 1-2).  When I am angry, sad, hurt or confused...do I still long to draw closer to my Savior or do I pull away from Him?

David was humble enough to beg the Lord, "Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.  For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.  Against thee only have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest...Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.  Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.  Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee." (Psalm 51: 2-4, 10-13).

Sometimes, he just praised God for being GOD (see Psalm 150).

My point?  NOTHING hindered David from praising the Lord. 

What hinders you?

What hinders me? 

I was saved at a young age and have been in church most of my life.  However different those churches may have been and however confused I was at times over doctrinal issues, I never doubted my salvation.  I never struggled with temptation to smoke, drink alcohol, do drugs or engage in sexual sin.  My struggles and temptations have always been and still are inward...selfishness, pride, covetousness, idolatry...all just as wicked.  All hindrances to your walk with God.

There is SO much more to say on the subject of praise that I don't think I can conclude with just one little blog.  In no way am I claiming mastery in this area.  I am definitely learning as I go here.  This is just what the Lord is currently doing re-construction on in my own heart.  I hope you'll examine your own heart with me and share in the journey.

Until next time...TO BE CONTINUED....

This is the hymn that inspired this particular blog in the first place...

"I Will Praise Him!"

When I saw the cleansing fountain, open wide for all my sin

I obeyed the Spirit's wooing, when He said, "Wilt thou be clean?"

Tho the way seems straight and narrow, all I claimed was swept away

My ambitions, plans and wishes at my feet in ashes lay

Then God's fire upon the altar of my heart was set aflame

I shall never cease to praise Him - Glory, glory to His name!

Blessed be the name of Jesus!  I'm so glad He took me in.

He's forgiven my transgressions, He has cleansed my heart from sin.

Glory, glory to the Father!  Glory, glory to the Son!

Glory, glory to the Spirit!  Glory to the Three in One!

I will praise Him! I will praise Him!

Praise the Lamb for sinners slain.

Give Him glory, all ye people,

For His blood can wash away each stain.



Be Thou My Vision

"For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God." ~ John 12:43

Okay...so, I didn't set out to blog hymn titles, necessarily, but this just happens to be what's socking me in the gut right now.
 

Andy has been working on an instrumental arrangement of "Be Thou My Vision" with some friends from church and they were supposed to play it during the service this past Sunday.  As we were getting ready to leave the house, we got a call that the pianist was home sick, so they'd decided to play it some other time.  In one of those "slow motion" moments, I blurted, "Do they still need special music?". Immediately, I covered my mouth.  -- I can't believe I just said that.  Just kidding...Nevermind. I don't want to do it. I don't feel like singing this morning. I d...  -- Before I could get out my next excuse, my husband said, "It's perfect! Great idea! Let's do it!" Grrrreat. What had I gotten myself into?  I was completely unprepared, at least mentally, to sing a solo. Normally, I'm content to sing a harmony part...in fact, I love it.  I always struggle with my nerves when I sing in church.  It's just me...raw...completely open before the Lord and my church family, who, are inclined to shout quite often. ;)

It had to be the Lord yanking those words out of my mouth, because I never would have suggested it otherwise. Deep down, I knew I had to do it. I didn't know why, but I knew if I chickened out I'd regret it later. I fought it for a good half hour, but finally conceded to obedience.

On the way to church, Andy and I talked about the unique struggle that artists/musicians have with the fear of man. We can be simultaneously confident in our gifts and abilities and still desire praise from our superiors, our peers and our audiences to the point of near devastation when we don't receive it. It's a dichotomy, much like the Christian life. We are secure as believers...we know that "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17)...and yet, we battle the flesh daily (Matt. 26:41; Rom. 8:6).

During the song service that morning, our song leader chose "Be Thou My Vision" as the last song. I'm still not sure whether or not he knew that was the song they had been working on as an instrumental, but the Lord made sure it was included in the service one way or another. As many times as I've heard and sung that song in my lifetime, that particular morning, the words hit me like they never had before. "Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise, Thou mine inheritance, now and always: Thou and Thou only, first in my heart, High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art."

There it was. That sock in the gut I mentioned earlier. Was it any coincidence that our song was next? Because I was already wrecked by the song service, I didn't stand a chance. I was pretty much choked up through the entire song ("In Christ Alone"), and eventhough I didn't sing it as perfectly as I wanted to, I didn't completely fall apart. Looking out over the congregation, I felt my church family holding me up. Some were crying, some smiling, some shouting. The anxiety of trying to "perform" melted away and worship was the result.

When it was over, our pastor approached the pulpit and joked, "It kinda makes you sick, doesn't it? They almost look like they love each other..." He then went on to say how every song, including ours, fit perfectly with what the Lord had laid on his heart to preach.

The two things I pray for the most when Andy and I do anything together is that: 1) our marriage would honor God and inspire others and 2) whatever we do would be in perfect obedience and alignment with God's will.

Had we not fulfilled this small task, it wouldn't have been the end of the world, but I would've missed a BIG lesson in obedience, fear and pride. The Holy Spirit doesn't promote self, but testifies of Christ (John 15:26, 16:13). When we are yielded to the Spirit, the flesh falls away and Christ is glorified.

Lord Jesus, may I always be sensitive to your Spirit and obedient in even the smallest tasks set before me. Thank you for shattering my pride. I pray that I would seek only Your approval and not the praise of men. You have made me completely clean. Help me to walk in my spotlessness more freely and openly. In Your Precious Name I pray, Amen.

"This I say then, walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh." ~Galatians 5:16

How Firm A Foundation

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" ~ Psalm 27:1

I've always communicated best through the written word. When I didn't know what to say, or even what to pray, I've always taken pen to paper to express what was in my heart. I've attempted this whole blogging thing a few times over the last couple of years, but eventually I quit...mainly because I've wrestled with what I really wanted to "put out there". What did I want to say? Just how personal did I want to get? How deep did I want to go? Would it be offensive to people?

At the end of the day, it all boiled down to fear for me. Fear...of where to start. Fear...of not being able to articulate what I wanted to say. Fear...of not having the knowledge to back it up. Fear...of being compared.

But the deep pressing on my heart to write...the longing to share...to encourage...is stronger than any fear that the enemy may use to stifle what I hope will ultimately bring glory to Jesus.

And so...I begin. I chose to name my blog after a line in my favorite hymn, "How Firm A Foundation" (lyrics below). In my church, we sing ALL 5 verses. If you can sing these words without blubbering, as my momma would say, I'll eat your hat. :)

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord, is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!

What more can He say than to you He hath said - to you, who for refuge to Jesus have fled?

"Fear not, I am with thee - O be not dismayed, for I am thy God, I will still give thee aid;

I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, upheld by my gracious, omnipotent hand."

"When thru the deep waters I call thee to go, the rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;

For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless, and sanctify to thee thy deepest distress."

"When thru fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, my grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;

The flame shall not hurt thee - I only design thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine."

"The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose, I will not, I will not desert to his foes;

That soul, tho all hell should endeavor to shake, I'll never, no never, no never forsake."